Notes From the Prehistoric Underground


20th Century Fox
From left, the characters Buck, Crash and Eddie in "Ice Age:
Dawn of the Dinosaurs."

I am not someone who insists that cartoons obey the laws of physics or stick to the historical record. The Acme Corporation will not deliver a home catapult kit to an unmarked mesa in the desert Southwest, and, “Up” notwithstanding, even a modest bungalow is unlikely to make an intercontinental flight propelled solely by helium balloons. Everyone is aware of these fundamental truths, and no one is likely to complain when they are flouted for purposes of entertainment.

But the idea that a hot, verdant land, populated by giant lizards and carnivorous plants, might have lain hidden beneath the glacial, prehistoric ice — I’m sorry, but that’s just idiotic. I don’t mean to sound like a 9-year-old or a dogmatic Darwinian, but really. Come on. T. rexes chasing woolly mammoths? “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”? What? Dawn of the dinosaurs? In the Ice Age? You’ve got to be kidding.

I know. This kind of anachronism is trendy at the moment, what with “Year One” and “Land of the Lost” and “Star Trek.” But weren’t underground dinosaurs in 3-D already tried last summer in the abysmal “Journey to the Center of the Earth”? Couldn’t the creative minds at the 20th Century Fox animation studios, hoping to wring a few hundred million dollars more out of their prized family-animation franchise, have come up with something more original?

Dumb question. The first two “Ice Age” movies were widely tolerated by adults and children alike, and while nobody has necessarily been clamoring to sample more prehistoric voice work from Ray Romano, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah and John Leguizamo, families who have recovered from the trauma of the “Transformers” sequel are unlikely to avoid this tired, loud little sequel over the coming holiday weekend.

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